Normally I come here on Mondays and share my weekend shenanigans with you. Today, I just don’t feel like doing that.
Today I wanted to come here and say What. The. Fuck. There are no words that can describe the way I felt when I first heard the news of Orlando yesterday morning. My first thought was, this must have been a hate crime. Pride parades and celebrations happened all over the country this past weekend. Then news started circling that this was an ISIS related terror attack and the number of deaths started to climb.
The shooter was a US born citizen who evidently has ties to ISIS. I am sure there are many more like him all over our country. And that? That scares the crap out of me. It also makes me so sad to think that we live in one of the greatest countries in the world and our own people are turning their backs on us.
It is a scary world out there these days. Whether attacks like this are from hate, mental health issues, terror attacks….it just sucks. It sucks that I never care to enter a movie theater for the rest of my life because of a shooting that occurred in one. It sucks that any big crowd event makes me a little nervous as in the back of my mind I think….this would be the type of even that a terror attack or mass shooting could occur with masses of people being in one spot.
I don’t want to to think like that. I don’t want to be on alert of my surroundings at all times. I want to be that young little girl who used to be left to play outside in the backyard for hours without supervision. The 12 year old that was dropped off at the mall with her friend. The kid that went to school everyday without it ever occurring to her that someone would bring a gun.
That isn’t the world we live in anymore.
Today? We turn on the news and here of murders pretty much every day. It is almost like we are desensitized from it because it is such a common occurrence. I am not saying bad things didn’t happen when we were younger, because they did. But not on this scale.
I feel so helpless. I mean, what can we do to make it better? Compassion and kindness of individuals can only go so far. I feel like our leaders are failing us. The FBI knew about this guy. Why was he allowed to buy two guns recently? I realize there was no hard evidence of what he was about to do…but shouldn’t we have been looking a little more closely?
Some changes need to start being made. I am not a super religious person, but I find myself praying for our country. For future generations. And for some peace that when we walk out our front doors in the morning, we are a little less scared.