Sh!T Men Say

It is time for the monthly Sh!t Men Say link up!

Usually the stuff that comes out of Chris’s mouth is pure gold. I think now that he knows I blog about it once a month…he is keeping all the gems hidden or says stuff so creepy and wrong that he knows I wont post it on here….either way….I was still able to salvage these few gold nuggets!

–Let’s start with this past weekend, shall we? We are at World of Beer. The owner was in and came by our table to ask us how we were doing. Our friend starts talking to him about this new beer that came out from a brewery in Huntsville and told him that he would go to his car and get the bottle so he could see. Meanwhile, Chris and I were telling him that we are loyalty club members, because duh! Why wouldn’t we be?! He asked us if we had gotten our shirts yet and we said no, so he brought us two loyalty club shirts Sweet! Chris orders another high gravity beer and says to the owner, “We don’t stay out late, so we have to hit it hard out the gate!”

PS- Chris fell asleep on the couch at 7:00 pm that evening.

Sipping champagne at Michael Kors.

–We are laying on the couch watching TV. All of a sudden it smells horrific. My nose burns. I scream, “Holy crap did you just shit yourself?! Are you trying to kill me????” Chris smiles this creepy stalker smile and says very seriously, “Everyone loves the smell of their own brand.”

— This summer Chris and I were both in separate car accidents on the same day. The luck, right?! Our cars go in the shop the same day and we both get rental cars. I let Chris take the nicer car, a Camry and I take a Mazada the size of a clown car. (Back story, I drove a Camry for like 10 years before my Rogue.) Chris comes home after having the Camry for a day. He says he is going to take it back to Enterprise and get something more comfortable and better than the peasant car. (Thanks a lot!) Then he says, “That cloth interior makes my skin itch!” WTF!

He better NEVER call me high maintenance! He ended up getting a brand new fully loaded Ford Explorer for NO ADDITIONAL       CHARGE. Like seriously, WTF?!

Just remember, a dance off is ALWAYS a good idea.

And that my friends is the latest installment of shit Chris says. Tell me, what funny shit comes out of the mouths of the men in your life? Go to my home girl’s page and link the sh!t!