Thirty, Flirty and Thriving

 

 

Or something like that!

 

 

It is official party peeps. This chicka is turning 30 today. How in the hell has it been 30 years? I am just as confused as you. I hear confusion comes with old age. Shit!

When you turn 30, it is supposed to be some milestone in your life. You are exiting your carefree 20’s and becoming more of an adult.I wish I could offer you some brilliant wise advice that I had gained along the way, but so far what I really learned is quite simple.

– Respect is something that is earned.

– People are going to let you down.

– Life is short. Real short. I am still confused how 30 years have slipped by me. Thinking about it just makes me depressed.

– No one is going to look out for you except for you.

– The best way to live life is to be honest, be a friend, and give your best. That is all anyone can do.

– Your number one competitor is who stares back at you in the mirror.

-Don’t care so much about what other people think.

-Karma is a bitch, don’t piss her off!

-Some of the best things in life really are free.

-Take time to enjoy little moments, they are what you will remember in the future.

Now let me tell you some questions I find myself asking regularly these days. Let it be warning of things you have to look forward to!

-Why do my knees hurt?

– I only had 3 beers, how am I hung over?

-Are those kids really in college? They look like babies! (That one stings, for real!)

– Have you seen the Alieve bottle?

– Is it supposed to rain today? My joints hurt like an old person for no reason. (Oh wait, it is because I am an old person)

– Did you hear that noise? That was my entire body cracking and popping as I walk across the bedroom floor in the morning.

– Do you just want to stay in tonight? (Because I am tired, old and boring and feel like doing NOTHING.)

– Fast food? I can’t eat that shit anymore.

– Can you turn on the news?

And I leave you with a scary thought….the day after you turn 30 you are officially closer to 40 than you are 20. Which is why I might be turning 29 again this year. All of you who keep telling me that 30 is the new 20 need to shut the front door. That isn’t true, it is just what old folks say to make themselves feel better and you know it!